Are you exhausted and weighed down from your past painful, experiences? Do you wonder when will the torment end? When am I going to stop hurting? Today, we’re going to talk about finding value and purpose in the pain and how that leads to freedom. 


I know that may sound a little hard to digest. Purpose. How can there be purpose in what I experienced? I understand your hesitation, so hold on tight. 


Do you feel hurt? Do you feel let down? Confused? You want someone to answer to what happened and you’re not getting resolution? Maybe you’re entering into a new relationship and you’re finding the past keeps coming up. You’re wondering how can this person understand what I’m feeling, when they haven’t been there? 


Your pain has a purpose.

It may be hard to see right now, but your pain does have purpose.

What are some pain points in your life?


  • Do you feel surround by negative energy or don’t engage with others because you are afraid of judgement? 
  • Do you have a wall of resistance that is keeping you from connecting with others? 
  • Are you stuck without opportunity for advancement in your career? 
  • Do you believe there has to be something more in life, a greater purpose? 
  • Do you want life to be different? 


Your experience(s) taught you a lesson in pain. The pain from the past is like a heavy bag you carry on your back filled with your life experiences. As you’ve gone through life, you’ve put those negative experiences into your bag.  Trauma, anger, bad relationships, arguments, they’re all in your bag. You’ve left them in your bag because they’re hard to look at and face. Those things in your bag are weighing you down and preventing you from finding connection and joy in your life.


The items in your bag are experiences you have not processed, forgiven or let go. When life happens, a smell, an argument, a reaction, it will trigger a memory and you’ll jump on the emotional rollercoaster of pain and torment you felt during that past experience. How you react to a trigger may affect how the rest of your day, week, month or even longer will go.  These are experiences that happened in your past and the negative energy you’re feeling today. These experiences are the “Ugg” factor in your life.  The overwhelming burden and fatigue you are feeling. This is what you’re carrying in your bag.  


The good news is, you can overcome and be a victor in your life! 



I encourage you to look at the experiences in your bag as having value. A value because you are unique, and your painful experiences are some of your greatest assets. Now what does that mean?  I went through hell and back and this pain, you’re telling me, is an asset? Yes. 


When you start to look at what you’ve experienced as an opportunity to serve someone else in their pain, it becomes an outward focused experience you can use for good. When you find value in your pain, identify as a victor rather than a victim, you begin to look for ways to serve others who may have a similar experience. 


How many times have you wanted someone to just listen, not fix it? Just listen. That’s the gift you can offer someone else. The gift of listening and understanding what another may not. Sharing your pain and showing someone else there is, hope to overcome. 


This experience doesn’t have to control your life. These circumstances, these experiences happened in the past and you can use them to serve another today in their journey to healing. 


Is there a friend in your life, a family member, maybe even someone you haven’t met yet who’s experienced something similar? Do you know someone who is stuck and burdened, maybe going through some depression, anxiety, unable to socially connect because the pain is overwhelming? These are the people you are able to serve because you understand. These are the people you can share hope with. This is how we find purpose in the pain, serving others. 


The experience also taught you a lesson in forgiveness. When you hold onto the pain and want payback, you are continually tethered to your past. When you forgive, you do it for you. You forgive to move forward. It’s not to forget. It’s to find freedom from the pain and to live with more peace. Forgiveness is an important step in your healing journey.


There is freedom when you accept what happened, empty out the sack and forgive. If you do this, you create your opportunity to heal, find purpose in the pain and possibly help someone else along the way.


I encourage you to seek out a coach, therapist or community to help you face the experience, and find your purpose in the pain.

To read about moving from victim to victor CLICK HERE.