I think everyone has heard the saying: “comparison is a dream killer”.
What does that mean? Quite simply, if you are unable to accept where you are (your baseline – your current status in life, right here, right now) and are focused on all of the things that someone else has, how can you ever get from point A (where you presently are) to the dream (where you want to go)?
ANSWER: You can’t – because you must be willing to start where YOU are, at this moment, NOT where the other person is.
There is a journey, that each person takes, to go from where they started to where they are now – a journey you know nothing about, and a journey you cannot forego. So why then do we compare ourselves to others?
We, as human beings, have an inherent need to be valued, and we want to feel important. But the truth is, until WE feel important and valued, nothing else can be important to us. Why? Because everything we think and believe begins with us.
Everyone has unique life experiences; we may share similarities, but NOTHING is identical.
Indeed, all our experiences are one-of-a-kind (because WE are one-of-a-kind), and these experiences are generically labeled as “good” or “bad”.
When you experience trauma or other “bad” events, you may find yourself wishing you had been born into a completely different life – a life where you felt important, valued, and loved.
In these moments of trauma, it’s easy to see ourselves as being insignificant, unimportant, and undervalued.
Yes – in these moments, it feels as though we are being robbed of the things, we’ve worked so hard to achieve – the things we rightfully deserve, and the rewards for our commitment and dedication. In these moments – “comparison” is your worst enemy.
You Have Nothing To Prove
When you compare yourself to another you are essentially minimizing or devaluing your natural gifts, your ability to create, your knowledge, and your worth.
You may ask: “Why do I lack what it takes to get what that person has?” And, in an attempt to answer that question, you may now find yourself trying to prove your worth and capability – even to the point of mental and physical exhaustion – to prove you are valuable and deserving – when, in fact, you always have been! You have never NOT been valuable and important – It’s when you let that little voice of “comparison” whisper in your ear, that you fail to see just how great you really are.
Have you ever said things like: “At least I haven’t messed up like that” or “At least I’m not like that person”? Ironically, this too is “comparison” – only now, its comparison in the other direction. This is a method of now validating YOUR worth by devaluing someone else’s. How ironic and how toxic “comparison” can be.
Here’s a reality check – You cannot change your life events leading up to today. This is where accepting what is, becomes the baseline for where you can start to pursue the life you want to create.
Think about this for a moment – Are you focusing on what you believe you were robbed of or are you focusing on the value you bring to others?
Now, you might ask: “If I don’t believe in my value, how can I bring value to others?”
It’s the not so simple answer: Love yourself. More on this later.
There is no fear in love… There is no hate – there is no jealousy – there is no anger… only freedom!
Learn to genuinely love yourself, without the presence of “comparison”, and give yourself the freedom to be uniquely YOU. When you do – the world becomes YOUR canvas to paint your story any way you like – and it will be a masterpiece!
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