You’ve always had purpose but come to a time you question it.
It’s that moment – The morning you wake up, look in the mirror, and wonder… Is this all life has to offer? Is this all I’m meant to be? What is my purpose in life? Surely, there must be more.
It’s also that moment you realize you don’t even know your partner. If you’re being honest, you wonder if you even know yourself. The years of hustling the job, taking care of the kids, doing all things for everyone else… Well, somewhere along the way – you lost YOU.
That was me. My son left home, married his beautiful bride, and started a new chapter in his life. And me… I was 45, getting a divorce, and working 50+ hours a week. I loved my job, but let’s be real… Feeling fulfilled wasn’t even in my vocabulary. I just did what everyone else did, or so I thought. Get up… work… eat… go to bed (maybe get 5 hours of sleep)… get up… (and do it all over again…) As I say this out loud, I realize – my life felt empty.
The results for living (and creating) such a lifestyle? Well, I was overweight. I was having that nightly glass of wine (or two). Exercising was a fleeting attempt to literally break my body in two and then not feel like it for another few months. To top it off, my co-worker friends and I would have the “There has to be something more” conversation, almost weekly. Can you feel that? The sigh of UGH…
I WANT TO SHARE A SECRET WITH YOU…
You can shift that “UGH” factor and start living your life with the joy and excitement to wake up to every morning! I know… because I made that shift!
Here are a few suggestions I used to put the joy and excitement back into my life that may help you get started.
Who are the people in your life? (Yes – Who are they? What role do they play? How do they fit in? Where did they come from and why are they there?) Do you spend uninterrupted time just listening to them? Do you spend time listening to understand what they are thinking, feeling, and saying? Do you spend time meeting them where they are without the “but sandwich” waiting to be shared by you? (What is a “But Sandwich” you ask? You know, when someone is talking to you and YOU are always interrupting saying: yes but…, I know but…, that sounds nice but… but but but) Do you ever just show up to be genuinely present for someone else (without YOU having to always say something?
Here’s the truth. To level up your connection with others, YOU must first be willing to step into their world and just listen. I know, you might be thinking but this is my time. I want them to hear me. The truth is, we can’t make someone hear us. However, it’s human nature to want to be valued; And when you start listening (to truly understand) you are showing you truly care and that the person speaking is valued and appreciated.
When YOU make people feel valued, YOU automatically become a safe space for them and they will naturally want to return the same gift of “listening to you”. When you listen openly, (without your own dialog), you create an environment of more peace and harmony because you are no longer talking over each other, you are listening to each other; And because both parties are feeling valued and appreciated, stronger relationships will form as a result.
When was the last time you permitted yourself to dream? I’ve asked this question many times and generally get a response like: “Um, I don’t remember.”
How about you? When was the last time you allowed yourself to dream? If it’s been a while, consider this the alarm clock of your life… and stop pressing snooze!
You weren’t brought to this earth to only be of service to others. I know deep down you have dreams! You have aspirations!
Even if you’ve had a successful career you’re proud of, what else have you NOT done because _______________ (fill in the blank).
Here are a few thoughts to get you started.
- You are the breadwinner.
- Both incomes are needed to survive.
- You are afraid to try something new.
- You are afraid you’ll fail.
- You are afraid of what someone will think of you.
- You are simply afraid that you aren’t capable.
…which one is it for you?
Do you know that every single “thing” we have has been created twice? Once in the mind – and once in reality. With that said, every “thing” was created from a single thought, vision, or dream. So, why can’t that be your dream?
Give yourself a little time and space to quiet your mind and let ideas freely flow. Write down your ideas in a journal. Make a plan, create action steps, and then take a leap of faith – and go for it! After all, wouldn’t it be so amazing to be an inspiration to those you love when you show them how to make dreams come true? (Yes it would!)
Take Action On Your New Purpose
Did you know that NOT taking action on the things you say you will do has a significant negative impact on your self-esteem? (It does!) When you let yourself down, you start saying not-so-nice things to yourself, and your worth absorbs those negative words like a sponge. With that being said – Creating the dream is only the first step in your evolving life’s purpose.
Now, “taking action” is crucial to making the dream (your dream) a reality. (Let’s get something super clear.) Do not focus solely on the end result. If you do, you might lose your passion because the dream will feel too big and out of reach. Just focus on the one next step. Every small step will bring you closer to the goal… Just keep stepping!
The Power Of Choice
If I leave you with anything – let it be this:
You, my friend, have the power to choose! If you are giving your power away for someone else to choose for you, I invite you to reflect on why.
- What fear do you have?
- What is keeping you from standing up for what you want?
…A lack of boundaries comes to my mind, but that’s for another blog.
Seriously, YOU are a powerful woman, with a powerful mind, and capable of not only serving your family and friends at the highest level, but also serving yourself, loving yourself, and valuing yourself as you are right now. You are perfectly imperfect and worthy of love and respect!
Sure, we all want to do more and be more – (there’s nothing wrong with that) but – you don’t have to do anything to be valuable. You don’t have to wait until you achieve that big goal to be valuable. You don’t have to have approval from someone else to be valuable. You are valuable and worthy right in this very moment, exactly as you are… remember that!
In closing, your life is meaningful and your life has always had purpose. If you choose to want more, you can be and do anything you decide to do. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and don’t be afraid to speak loud and proud about what you want. Remember, YOU are teaching others how to treat you… (yeah, just sit with that for a minute) then go and treat yourself like the queen you are, “NO APPROVAL NECESSARY!”
To learn how to love yourself more, click to read self love CLICK HERE
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